Ballad of Stacey and Chris

The ‘dozers stood ready
In the brambles and the briars
To cover God’s green grass
With fields of shredded tires.
But ‘ere a scoop of earth could move
The tab needed to be paid,
Two-point-seven million
For fields of rubber made.

Now, two-point-seven million,
That’s a lot when times are lean.
It was up to Council to decide
If the rubber’s worth the green.
So they came from far and wide to see
The big game in Council’s stable,
Naturals versus Artificials,
Two-point-seven million on the table.

The A's team was strong,
That came as no surprise.
With Power Point and pointed finger
The Council they apprised.
“We must have rubber fields,” said they,
“For us to stay on top.
And we can’t afford an error
When a ball takes a bad hop.”

The Nats they battled valiantly
But their efforts seemed for naught.
Outnumbered, steamed, and rolled
By the Rubber Juggernaut.
But just when all seemed hopeless
And they were reaching for their hats,
Two Council Champions arose
To rescue the fading Nats.

“We’ve too much to do,” said Stacey Jordan
Most emphatically.
“We must wait until we know
What our budget’s going to be.”
“It’s too expensive” said the stalwart
Chris Chiacchio.
“People here are struggling,
We’re just adding to their woes.”

For hours they battled
With hammer and with tong.
Few could remember a Council meeting
Going for so long.
Finally, the votes were counted
And when the results were in
Joy filled the hearts of Nats’ fans
For they had taken home the win.

But rest not on your laurels,
Ye fans of the noble Nats.
The A's are a mighty foe
And they’re planning to come back.
On April the eleventh
They’ll ask Council to consider
Diverting Open Space funds
For their fields made of rubber.

Jordan and Chiacchio
Stood up when they were called.
Now it’s up to all of us
To pick up and run the ball.
So come out April 11,
Come by cars or trains or boats
Tell Council, “No Open Space funds
For fields unfit for goats.”